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Beerbohm, Max, Sir, 1872-1956

"And Even Now"

I offer no excuse for so foolish a proceeding. I do
but say it is characteristic of all who are duffers at speaking a
foreign tongue. Great is the pride they all take in airing some little
bit of idiom. I recall, among many other pathetic exemplifiers of the
foible, an elderly and rather eminent Greek, who, when I was
introduced to him, said `I am jolly glad to meet you, Sir!' and,
having said that, had nothing whatever else to say, and was moreover
unable to grasp the meaning of anything said by me, though I said the
simplest things, and said them very slowly and clearly. It is to my
credit that in speaking English to a foreigner I do always try to be
helpful. I bear witness against Mme. Chose and M. Tel that for me they
have never made a like effort in their French. It is said that French
people do not really speak faster than we, and that their seeming to
do so is merely because of their lighter stress on syllables. If this
is true, I wish that for my sake they would stress their syllables a
little more heavily. By their omission of this kindness I am so often
baffled as to their meaning. To be shamed as a talker is bad enough;
it is even worse to be shamed in the humble refuge of listener. To
listen and from time to time murmur `C'est vrai' may seem safe enough;
yet there is danger even here.


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