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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women"

We see, also, that these two groups of feelings are
complementary. Within the limits consistent with normal and healthy life,
what men are impelled to give women love to receive. So that we need not
unduly deprecate the "cruelty" of men within these limits, nor unduly
commiserate the women who are subjected to it.
Such a conclusion, however, as we have also seen, only holds good within
those normal limits which an attempt has here been made to determine. The
phenomena we have been considering are strictly normal phenomena, having
their basis in the conditions of tumescence and detumescence in animal and
primitive human courtship. At one point, however, when discussing the
phenomena of the love-bite, I referred to the facts which indicate how
this purely normal manifestation yet insensibly passes over into the
region of the morbid. It is an instance that enables us to realize how
even the most terrible and repugnant sexual perversions are still
demonstrably linked on to phenomena that are fundamentally normal. The
love-bite may be said to give us the key to that perverse impulse which
has been commonly called sadism.


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