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Ellis, Havelock, 1859-1939

"Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women"

" "I think the Sabine woman enjoyed being carried off
like that," a woman remarked in front of Rubens's "Rape of the Sabines,"
confessing that such a method of love-making appealed strongly to
herself, and it is probable that the majority of women would be prepared
to echo that remark.
It may be argued that pain cannot give pleasure, and that when
what would usually be pain is felt as pleasure it cannot be
regarded as pain at all. It must be admitted that the emotional
state is often somewhat complex. Moreover, women by no means
always agree in the statement of their experience. It is
noteworthy, however, that even when the pleasurableness of pain
in love is denied it is still admitted that, under some
circumstances, pain, or the idea of pain, is felt as pleasurable.
I am indebted to a lady for a somewhat elaborate discussion of
this subject, which I may here quote at length: "As regards
physical pain, though the idea of it is sometimes exciting, I
think the reality is the reverse. A very slight amount of pain
destroys my pleasure completely. This was the case with me for
fully a month after marriage, and since.


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