The country listens sadly to the racket most distressing,
And wonders, in its bother, if e'er the time will come
When the Fates and Constitution will vouchsafe to us the blessing
Of a House of Representatives completely deaf and dumb;
Or if, perhaps, in exile these noisy mischief-makers,
The stream of elocution run most fortunately dry,
In seats of legislation, rows of ruminating Quakers
May shake their heads for "Nay" and may nod their heads for "Aye."
Rap! rap! rap!
To quell the rising clamor;
Order! order! order!
Hammer! hammer! hammer!
IV.
But if these mighty nuisances we cannot stop or flee 'em,
If past all other remedy the sounding evil reaches,
Oh, why not send for GILMORE of the Boston Coliseum,
That he may drill the Members in a chorus to make speeches?
Then shall stop the fierce _rencontre_--shall cease the idle rating;
Then debates shall he no longer without a head or tail;
And while the power of song every soul is demonstrating,
Each member cherubimical will scorn to rant or rail.
Rap! rap! rap!
To quell the rising clamor;
Order! order! order!
Hammer! hammer! hammer!
V.
But if for solo speaking Members still feel an avidity;
If they burn to make orations of most uncommon zest,
Let them just take our precaution against intense stupidity!
Let them study PUNCHINELLO and learn how to make a jest;
But away with dreams chimerical and projects vain, though clever!
The power of tongue's proportionate to wondrous length of ear;
The beast that carried BALAAM is as garrulous as ever,
And still the lobby listener must be content to hear
Rap! rap! rap!
To quell the rising clamor;
Order! order! order!
Hammer! hammer! hammer!
* * * * *
[Illustration: BARNACLES ON OUR COMMERCE.
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